Breakdown and cry
by just a liar
Summary: The first time you ever actually saw them it was thanks to that rat Sebastian. His words? 'Vengance is sweet, Lespez.' Bram, mentions of Brittana. Santana's reaction to Bram, my take.


The first time you heard about them it was from the Hobbit. His words were something like 'You deserve to know if you ever come back.'

And come back you did, only to find yourself face to face to that rat Sebastian in Lima Bean. You remember his exact words: 'Hey, Lespez. Came here to mop around because blondie met her match?'

You punched him in the face, hard enough for him to bleed, ruining his Warbler's blazer. Not even the threats of him doing the same took the smile out of your face.

But then, you understood the meaning of his words, about what Blaine told you being true. You cried youself to sleep that night.

The next day you decided you had to see it for yourself, so you dragged yourself out of bed and headed towards Mc Kinley with the excuse of a Glee Club reunion Finn organised some weeks ago.

As you strolled down the halls you see the students scurrying away from you, some of them drooling and others just looking at you mouth-agape.

You smile, power courses through your veins and you remember the reign of terror you had just some months ago.

But all that power withers as you hear the most beautiful yet heart-breaking sound. _Her _laugh.

You freeze, but you don't look back, knowing the sight would only break you.

Panicking, you enter the nearest classroom and try to even your breathing.

She laughs, _again. _It makes you feel both happy and broken.

You decide to stay like that until it's time for Glee Club. In a fetal position, with tears streaming down your face and tormenting yourself with memories.

* * *

Your heels make a low clicking sound every time they touch the floor and you just want to take them off and throw them, but you decide against it because you have to keep what's left of your self control.

No one expected you to actually come, so it doesn't surprise you how they all gasp when you enter to the auditorium.

Finn's arms find their way around you and you just pat him in the back briefly.

You look at everyone, except of them both as you scan the room.

You clear your throat loudly.

"Ready to go All Lima Heights, Finnocence?"

He just smiles and everyone laughs.

* * *

You spend most of the time listening to these kids sing.

_Kids. _Like if you were much more older than them. To think you were here doing the same some time ago.

It's Artie's idea to show you some of their latest performances in his computer, and he suggests you use the projector to do so.

As you expected, he is still Geek enough to have his computer set up so his e-mail is already logged in and apparently he has a new message, so he clicks it open.

"From the Warblers, to the New Directions: Congratulations." He reads out loud clearly confused

There's an image attached and there's a feeling in the pit of your stomach that tell you it's a bad idea, but he opens it either way.

What you see, is enough to make your heart break.

Nothing compares to what you feel right now; not even when she rejected you at the lockers or when your Abuela did too.

A photo of Sam and her liplocked in the same lockers you shared so many moments.

Hell breaks loose and you identify her voice urging Artie to close it but before he can you you grip his hands with enough force he yelps.

It hurts, it fucking hurts as you muster the courage to stare at it and read out loud the message at the bottom.

"Vengance is sweet, Lespez."

You let Artie go and he quickly closes the file, but the damage is done.

Everyone stares at you as you approach Puck and you almost watch him tremble.

"Lighter." You say and he hands it without a second thought.

You take out a box of cigarettes (you bought it only because your teammates said it helped with college) from your cleavage and flick one up.

"Santana you ca-"

"Fuck McKinley and fuck rules." You cut his words as you take the first sip.

You don't let youself cough and you keep it all inside until your eyes are watering and your throat burns too much in actually feels like it's on fire.

You force yourself to turn around and you take in everyone's faces.

Quinn looks devastated, just like almost everyone else, the rest is shocked and Kurt is teary-eyed.

You chuckle, and smile weakly.

"Santana, are you alri-"

"No, but I got what I deserved, right?" You interrupt Blaine this time and you remember his words once again and this time, they dig even deeper than before

Silence.

"I'm done here." You mutter but before you can do anything a strong hand you recognise so well stops you from doing so

"Let me go, Trouty." You hear people gasp in surprise because you knew it was him without turning aroun

"How did you know?"

You turn around this time and your eyes meet his.

"I was your girlfriend too, remember?" You answer with such bitterness in your voice he flinches, but he doesn't back down

"Look, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Please. I don't need pity, especially yours. I broke up with her, I get it. It was my fault and I did it because I thought it was the best I could do for her. Turns out it was indeed the best I could do. I've just hurt her too much and she's someone who should never pass through that again. I did it because I didn't want to fall off like... others. I said it once and I'll say it again. I will always love her the most. So make her happy. Be her prince in shinning armor she has always wished for. Be what society accept and not some shamful Latina girl. Be enough, I ask you that. If not, remember I'm Satan and I know where to find you."

With that she takes one last sip at her cigarette and throws it at his feet and walks away.

"Bram sound better than Brittana either way."

* * *

The first time you ever actually saw them it was thanks to that rat Sebastian. His words? 'Vengance is sweet, Lespez."

At first, you don't allow yourself to cry, you are not that weak.

You are Santana _Fucking _Lopez and things like this don't break you. Not again. Not anymore.

But as you drive away, you do that same thing.

Breakdown and cry.


End file.
